MY LIFE TOTALLY, UNDENIABLY AND INEXPLICABLY SUCKS.

It truly does. I am depress as hell. I have no life and spend hours on my computer. I lay around the house for days, getting fatter and fatter by the minute.

It's like I sank back into depression. I feel exactly how I feel when in 2004-2005, except the want to kill myself is not present (I want to live long you know.)

It just saddens me that I have never been in a relationship. Everytime I read or hear or watch something, most of them are about love. Seldom I cry, yet I feel like I would never fully understand the concept of love until I finally find someone who will love me for who I am.

I just wish I am not the only one suffering and compromising just to find love. Everytime I have to give up something just to meet up with someone, and then I sacrifice my dignity by being heartbroken (which I should know better than set some unrealistic expectations) and sink into depression.

Maybe I'm not even supposed to look for love. I heard people say just be patient and that it'll come to you. But I'm a sucker for being with someone,so maybe that's why I keep trying.

i dont know anymore.

SMS Part 1

4/28/08

Veni S 4:44 PM Veni! Guess what?! I have a date!

Veni S 4:44 PM Who is it?

Veni S 4:45 PM Guess who

Veni S 4:46 PM Who? Hurry up.

Veni S 4:47 PM Why? Am i bothering you? Its Clarisse

Veni S 4:48 PM Yay! Happy now? Hahaha your not bothering me. I hecka just wanted to know.

Veni S 4:49 PM Its not def for sure tho I have joana as a back up hahaha So we going as a group?

Veni S 4:50 PM Iono. Iono how many people can fit in the limo.


Veni S 5:05 PM Hahaha that actually rhymes...hmmm How big is it?

Veni S 5:07 PM We dont know yet. All i know so far is that we have 8 people so far.

Veni S 5:08 PM Hmmm...we have three weeks (?) Did u buy ur tix yet? I need 2 buy mine

Veni S 5:09 PM I didnt buy mine yet. I will soon.


4/29/2008

Michelle D 11:29 AM Tell of what's going on?

Michelle D 11:30 AM French club? You guys need to go!!!

Michelle D 11:30 AM For what?

Michelle D 11:31 AM Its for carnival If you guys dont go then you cant go to the party

Michelle D 11:32 AM I'll be there later.

Veni S 1:57 PM What are you guys doing? Free time?

Veni S 1:59 PM Taking a practice test Whats up?

Veni S 2:01 PM Nothing bored.


4/30/2008

Sarah R 12:07 PM Cn u gve my id to joana or cei if u c her. Tnx.

Sarah R 1:08 PM Yeah...i was trying to call u over break but u didnt answer

Sarah R 1:13 PM Sori i just found out just now

Veni S 2:56 PM Do you have people to go with for prom? Or are you going with us?

Veni S 3:06 PM I guess clarisse and i are going with u guys...idk

Veni S 3:10 PM Coz jenny is handling the limo situation. We'll see okay.

Veni S 3:15 PM Your chipping in for the limo?

Rant..

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!
How might your background and experiences enhance the naval service?

First of all I think it is really such a wonderful thing to be even considered for this scholarship. I am not even a citizen of this freaking country!!! God, minute by minute, day by day I get less smart. Ugh it’s like a curse on my wrongdoings. I mean what did I do to deserve my sullen state. Am I even using sullen in the right context??? Ugh please God have mercy on me. I want to get away and go to a prestigious college. Please let me get into at least one of the schools I applied to. Cornell is good, Penn is better, but HARVARD... Harvard is the best. I feel like if I get in that school I would finally validate myself. Please, please someone, the AdCom… please consider my application. Your school needs me, I need your school. To get away…to create change please please please…

Even if I have to sacrifice not finding that one true guy who will really love for who I am. Just this chance to attend and succeed at a highly regarded school. A reward perhaps for my sufferings and lacking qualities.

THE GREAT SEARCH FOR LOVE

Continues to be a disaster.

Sorry if I haven't updated in almost a month...I will eventually.

Damn

I know I haven't posted, and obviously it's my fault, but there's just so much going on.

Yeah right.

I'VE BEEN A LAZY ASS, THAT'S ALL!

Plus, I don't know what else to write about since I finally admitted to myself that I don't have a life. Yes. It's the truth. My social life is definitely down there. But not as down there as my earliest years here.

Well, hopefully I'll be able to update again, because I'm really trying hard to finish all the stuff I need to do.

Bye

p.s. FYI I HAVE NOT BEEN SWEPT BY THE AFTERMATH OF THE ELECTION

PRESIDENT BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA

The day has come, and Obama has emerged as the clear winner!

WHOOOO!

Belated Happy Halloween!

Oh God, It's been so cold these past days. Today it was raining so hard I seemed like a typhoon.
But I like it :)

Wednesday was a pretty good day for me. Drawing was relaxing; I got to draw random landscape, although it kinda got ruined by the stupid artist's tape. Spinning was o.k. As usual, I sweated a lot.

Now, psychology, that was the best period. It was the day we we're going to receive our test scores! I tried to stay relax and not keep my hopes too high (like the first test). When Dr. W mentioned that 2 people got 100%, I was half hoping that I was one of those people, but I downplayed it. AND I GOT PERFECT SCORE! I was in so much excitement, I smiled at V. I was relieved.